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A Time to Mourn & a Time to Speak

The Banner, the official organ of the Christian Reformed Church (once known as the True Dutch Reformed Church, a Calvinist body of the most robust sort), has turned into a wannabe liberal Protestant entity. In its “Frequently Asked Questions” section (Nov. 2006), a reader writes: “Our adult son has told us he is gay and wants us to meet his partner. Although we love our son, we don’t agree with his decision to live a homosexual lifestyle. Should we refuse to meet his partner?”

The Banner‘s answer is: “No. Part of loving your son is accepting him unconditionally…. Get to know your son as he is now, as well as his partner, and treat them the same way you would treat a heterosexual son or daughter who brings home a significant other.”

Our answer is: Unconditional love is cheap love, and you are giving him tacit approval. Your son is taking poison. You could encourage him to have therapy to change orientations. You could encourage him to be celibate. You could tell him he is on the road to Hell. Do you want to enjoy your son’s company in the here-and-now, or do you want to enjoy his company in Heaven forever?

Parents love their sons, but homosexuality should prompt a holy anger. Their love should be conditional, a tough love. St. Paul said, “rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith…” (Ti. 1:13). The more so, since parents are responsible for their children, even adult children.

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