Volume > Issue > Sexual Confusion at Kinsey Elementary School

Sexual Confusion at Kinsey Elementary School

INFORMATION OVERLOAD FOR KIDS

By Brent T. Zeringue | April 2000
Brent T. Zeringue is a father of eight in Destrehan, Louisiana, who owns a hardware store. He gives talks on chastity to adolescents and is the founder of KEPHA, a Catholic organization for young boys interested in apologetics, brotherhood, charity, mortification, and prayer.

Mary Lee Do-It, a once-hyphenated and twice-divorced mother of two, recently received her degree in Human Sexuality and was hired by Dr. Paul Bearer, principal of Kinsey Elementary School, to instruct the school’s older students in the modern practice of safe and hygienic sex. We join her sixth-grade class, already in session.

Ms. Do-It: (opening a small package) This, class, is a condom. And condoms are our friends. They are an excellent protection against unsafe sex and unwanted pregnancy. You may have heard them called “rubbers.” They come in many shapes and colors. Why, there are even candy-flavored condoms. Yes, Chiquita?

Chiquita: Ms. Do-It, I think I almost had one last night.

Do-It: Last night?

Chiquita: My family went to this restaurant and the waitress asked if we wanted any condom mints with our food.

Enjoyed reading this?

READ MORE! REGISTER TODAY

SUBSCRIBE

You May Also Enjoy

The Cloning of Margaret Fanger

This fictional piece uses exact quotes of the real-life Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood.

A Private's Affair

Yag Nam has approached young Fr. Logicus, the new priest assigned to Yag’s Bay Area church, to hear his confession...

Bejesus Seminar Discovers New Gospel in Desert, Common Sand & Call to Faction Supporters Jubilant

A wise and ancient scholar named Waniphallis (d. 666) once remarked to his Latin colleagues…