I suggest we know something of purgatory because we experience purgatory beginning in this life. Father Paul O’Callaghan, a theology professor at the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross in Rome, has said that “the purifying process, which will take place in a definitive way after death, is already taking place in this life.”[1] Father Edward McNamara writes about this purgatorial struggle on earth that “most people who have abandoned lives of serious sin continue to struggle for a long time,” and “engaging this struggle” by performing spiritual acts “can help these souls overcome discouragement, heal their wounds and overcome their attachments.”[2]

Catholic churches typically have a “cry room” where parents and their young children go when the children cry. From the cry room, the parents can see and hear the Mass, but the children can freely make noise. When we die, we won’t need to be told that we’re in hell, heaven, or somewhere in between — the “in between” being called purgatory. We’ll know. Although we won’t have our bodily senses, we’ll “sense” where we are. Everyone in purgatory knows heaven is in their future, but they are all crying. We could call it the “cry room” of heaven.

Yes, the angels brought us tidings of great joy (Luke 2:10). And the priest says at Mass that Jesus “proclaimed to the sorrowful of heart, joy” (Eucharistic Prayer No. 4). Yet, notwithstanding the joy we should know and feel, we sing in the Salve Regina: “to thee [Mary] do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.”

It is a reasonable assumption that, when we “cross over the river,” we retain our mind, our memories, and our feelings. Until our feelings are consistent with the feelings of someone in the presence of God, that is, in heaven, we won’t be allowed to be in, or enter, heaven. While there are no tears in heaven, there sure are plenty before you get there.

The poor souls in purgatory are all crying. When we on earth pray, as we customarily do, for the repose of souls or that the deceased rest in peace (R.I.P.),[3] we imply that the dead are not at peace and deeply need peace. Why may they not be at peace? Because they cry — without physical tears — continually, without sleep, on account of severe anguish. Life in purgatory is like post-traumatic stress disorder. What are the souls crying about? Consider five categories:

• their sins, obviously
• also their blessings
• things that happened to them (that is, the place, manner and time of their deaths, their losses and their lost opportunities, and “other-inflicted” wounds)
• “current events.”

Let me address the blessings first.

Tears of Gratitude for Blessings 

Our tears of gratitude will not be only for the good things we received on earth, but for our awareness that we are on our way to paradise. St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622) wrote:

We may draw from the thought of Purgatory more consolation than apprehension. The greater part of those who dread Purgatory so much think more of their own interests than of the interests of God’s glory; this proceeds from the fact that they think only of the sufferings without considering the peace and happiness which are there enjoyed by the holy souls. It is true that the torments are so great that the most acute sufferings of this life bear no comparison to them; but the interior satisfaction which is there enjoyed is such that no prosperity nor contentment upon earth can equal it. The souls [in purgatory] are in a continual union with God.[4]

Theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar (1905-1988) wrote of purgatory with these words:

Purgatory is perhaps the deepest but also the most blissful kind of suffering. The terrible torture of having to settle now all the things we have dreaded a whole life long. The doors we have frantically held shut are now torn open. But all the while this knowledge: now for the first time I will be able to do it – that ultimate thing in me, that total thing. Now I can feel my wings growing; now I am fully becoming myself.[5]

Irving Berlin’s lyrics include, “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep.” In purgatory, the poor souls cry with tears of gratitude for all their blessings. Each is like the woman with a reputation for sin, who poured ointment on Jesus’ feet and wept so much that she washed His feet with her tears. She cried tears of regret over her sins, yes, but she also cried tears of joy over being so near to Jesus. While she was crying, Jesus told His host: “This woman, from the time I entered [your house], has not stopped kissing My feet” (Luke 7:36-50).[6]

In purgatory, we remember every good thing and that “Everything good comes from God” (James 1:17). St. John Henry Newman said in a sermon:

It would be well if we were in the habit of looking at all we have as God’s gift, undeservedly given, and day by day continued to us solely by his mercy. He gave; He may take away. He gave us all we have, life, health, strength, reason, enjoyment, the light of conscience; whatever we have good and holy within us; whatever faith we have; whatever of a renewed will; whatever love towards him; whatever power over ourselves; whatever prospect of heaven. He gave us relatives, friends, education, training, knowledge, the Bible, the Church. All comes from him. He gave; he may take away. Did he take away, we should be called on to follow Job’s pattern, and be resigned: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). While he continues his blessings, we should follow David and Jacob, by living in constant praise and thanksgiving, and in offering up to him of his own.[7]

In the next installment, Part 3, we will take up with “Tears Over Our Sins.”

[A link to Part 1 is here.]

[1] Hannah Brockhaus, “Why Do Catholics Pray for the Dead and Other Questions About Purgatory Answered,” Arlington [Virginia] Catholic Herald, Nov. 2, 2022.

[2] Rev. Edward McNamara, L.C., “[Sexual] Abusers and Indulgences,” Zenit.org, Oct. 9, 2018.

[3] As in the Entrance from Second Mass on All Souls’ Day.

[4] Rev. William P. Saunders, “What Is Purgatory Like?,” Arlington [Virginia] Catholic Herald, Nov. 17, 2005 (quoting Espirit de St. Francois de Sales, IX, p. 16, quoted in Purgatory by Rev. F. X. Shouppe, S.J.).

[5] Quoted in Regis Martin, “Of Purgatory and Homage to the Dead,” thecatholicthing.org, Nov. 2, 2016 (believed to be from von Balthasar’s Dare We Hope That All Men Be Saved, 1988).

[6] It would appear that she did not stop crying and kissing His feet until He said, “Your sins are forgiven…Your faith has saved you. Go in peace” (Matt. 25:23). Souls in purgatory are continually crying at the feet of Christ until He says, “Enter into the joy of your Master!”

[7] Parochial and Plain Sermons (1987), pp. 1003-1005.